Bi-Erasure: Understanding the Mental Health Impact of Being Overlooked

For many bisexual people, this part of their identity is not just about attraction… it’s about belonging. Yet in a world that often sees sexuality in the black-and-white terms of “gay” or “straight,” bisexuality is frequently ignored, dismissed, or invalidated.

This phenomenon is known as bi-erasure: the tendency for bisexuality to be forgotten or denied due to cognitive and cultural bias.

Bi-erasure can come in the form of stereotypes (“bisexual people are confused”), assumptions (“you’ll eventually ‘pick a side’”), or invisibility (“you’re just going through a phase”). When your identity is erased, the impact is not just social… it can deeply affect your mental health.

How Bi-Erasure Affects Mental Health

Research shows that bisexual people sometimes face higher mental health risks than their gay and lesbian peers, largely due to invisibility and invalidation.

  • A national survey found that 40% of bisexual adults reported serious thoughts of suicide, compared to 25% of gay/lesbian adults and 5% of heterosexual adults (CDC, 2021).

  • Studies reveal that bi individuals are more likely to experience depression and anxiety than those who identify as exclusively gay or straight (Ross et al., 2018).

  • According to The Trevor Project (2022), bi youth report higher rates of bullying and discrimination, with 66% experiencing harassment at school.

When your identity is dismissed, even by people in the LGBTQ+ community, the isolation can feel unbearable. Many bisexual people report feeling like they “don’t fully belong anywhere.”

Common Examples of Bi-Erasure

  1. Cultural Stereotypes

    • Being told bisexuality is just a “phase.”

    • The idea that bisexual people are “greedy” or “unfaithful.”

  2. Cognitive Bias

    • Friends or partners assuming you’re straight if you’re in a different-sex relationship, or gay if you’re in a same-sex relationship.

    • Therapists, teachers, or doctors skipping over bisexuality as a valid identity.

  3. Media Representation

    • Films and TV often erase bisexuality by labeling characters as either gay or straight depending on their current partner.

  4. Religious or Cultural Contexts

    • Being told that bisexuality is “confusion” or that you must choose one “side” to be accepted.

Why Bi-Erasure Hurts So Deeply

For bisexual people, erasure creates a double stigma: feeling unseen in heterosexual spaces, and sometimes excluded in LGBTQ+ spaces. This can lead to:

  • Identity confusion (“Maybe they’re right; I am just confused”).

  • Loneliness and isolation from not feeling fully accepted anywhere.

  • Mental health struggles such as anxiety, depression, or internalized shame.

Closing Thoughts

If you are bisexual and feel misunderstood, you are not alone. It is exhausting to constantly explain yourself, to have your relationships misread, and to wonder if your identity will ever be fully seen. The pain isn’t just being judged… it’s being erased, as though how you’re able to express love isn’t legitimate.

You deserve to live without shame. You deserve to be seen, heard, and accepted for who you are… fully and without conditions.

Starting Therapy

At Deconstruction Counseling, I love working with people who feel erased or misunderstood by culture, community, or family. If you are struggling with anxiety, depression, or isolation connected to your bisexual identity, you don’t have to carry this alone. Click here to book an appointment today and take the first step toward reclaiming your story.

References

  1. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2021). Suicide and suicidal ideation among bisexual adults: United States data.

  2. Feinstein, B. A., Latack, J. A., Bhatia, V., Davila, J., & Eaton, N. R. (2016). Romantic relationship involvement as a minority stress buffer in gay/lesbian versus bisexual individuals. Journal of Gay & Lesbian Mental Health, 20(3), 237–257.

  3. Ross, L. E., Salway, T., Tarasoff, L. A., MacKay, J. M., Hawkins, B. W., & Fehr, C. P. (2018). Prevalence of depression and anxiety among bisexual people compared to gay, lesbian, and heterosexual individuals: A systematic review and meta-analysis. The Journal of Sex Research, 55(4–5), 435–456.

  4. The Trevor Project. (2022). National Survey on LGBTQ Youth Mental Health.

  5. Bostwick, W. B., Boyd, C. J., Hughes, T. L., & McCabe, S. E. (2010). Dimensions of sexual orientation and the prevalence of mood and anxiety disorders in the United States. American Journal of Public Health, 100(3), 468–475.

  6. Dodge, B., Herbenick, D., & Bostwick, W. (2016). Sexual health among bisexual individuals: Research themes and directions. Journal of Bisexuality, 16(1), 1–15.

  7. McLean, K. (2008). Silences and stereotypes: The impact of (mis)representation on bisexual identity and community. Journal of Bisexuality, 8(1–2), 45–59.

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